The Butterfly Kisses Effect

In a troubling continuation of what I call the Butterfly Kisses Effect, country crooners are trading in their pick-up trucks for minivans in ever greater numbers as they wax euphoric (and oh so sappy) about the joys of fatherhood.

The latest example comes from Darius Rucker, former lead singer and guitarist of Hootie and the Blowfish, who has jumped genres to give us “It Won’t Be Like This for Long.” This song chronicles the sleepless nights and difficult phases of childhood from a father’s perspective, reminding the listener that these moments, while challenging at the time, are fleeting. With the same raspy voice that had me singing along to “Hold My Hand” in the early 1990s, Rucker belts out without a trace of embarrassment:

Four years later ‘bout four thirty

She’s crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool

She’s clinging to his leg

The teacher peels her off of him

He says what can I do

She says now don’t you worry
This will only last a week or two

A. “Bed” and “leg” don’t rhyme.
B. When did country music start ripping lyrics from the advice column of Parenting Magazine?

Song writers, like all writers, tend to write about what they know, and I’m sure Rucker is genuinely caught up in the throes of new parenthood, but what soulless record producer is responsible for this sentimental tripe? Rucker may well regret this song when he’s less sleep-deprived, but in the meantime, I don’t want to hear it!

When I flip the dial to my country station, I want to hear some hard-drinking, cowboy-hat-n-boot-wearing, tractor-driving, blue-collar-championing, strong-loving male vocalists, like, well...some of the best women of country music. In country’s Battle of the Sexes (which exists only in my head), Bob Carlisle (“Butterfly Kisses”), Heartland, Jordan Pruitt (“Outside Looking In”) and Rascall Flatts together would be crushed by Miranda Lambert, whose not especially interested in exploring and exploiting her softer side. Thank god.

Alas, it seems all my rowdy [guy] friends have settled down. What’s next in country music, guy-liner?